Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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