dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
