cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
