he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
