So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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