Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
