we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
