I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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