YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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