Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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