She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
