i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
