Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize