you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
