So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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