If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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