im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
