Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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