Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
