Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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