i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
