I am in a vortex of obligation.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
