hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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