i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Still dying that you shit outside
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
