New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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