So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
no you cant smoke seaweed
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
