I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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