I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
