um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
