He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
