I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
