You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
