Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
