Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i was born a porn star she said
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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