Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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