I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
