I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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