A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
