she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
