oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
