i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
