I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
