The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
