Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
