you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I need to wash the frat house off of me
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
