Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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