He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
