Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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