some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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