so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
